The conversations nobody wants to have.
With someone who knows how to have them.
Pornography. Sexting. Consent. Dating. Grooming. Digital behavior. Sexual exploitation. When young people and the adults who care about them need to talk about the “icky” stuff, I help make the conversation possible — without shame, blame or colorful language.
Helping grown-ups talk about the subjects young people are already encountering — with their young people.
My job is to make these conversations clear, comfortable and easy to start — then give grown-ups and young people a simple way to keep them going. That can happen around a kitchen table, in a family room, on a front porch, in a counseling practice or at school.
Choose the door that fits you.
The work is connected, but the needs are different. Start where you are.
Are you a Family?
You need help talking with a young person about something difficult, awkward or concerning.
For FamiliesAre you a Counselor?
You have a family who could benefit from focused education and facilitated parent-young person conversation.
For CounselorsAre you a School or District?
You need student education, parent programming, staff training or a complete 6th–12th grade curriculum.
For SchoolsNeed a Statewide Expert?
You need a speaker, trainer, advisor or subject-matter expert on youth digital and relationship safety.
Professional WorkThis isn't a subject I discovered last year.
For 23 years, my work has put me in the room with young people, parents, educators, counselors, law enforcement and state leaders confronting the risks children face online and in relationships.
“He just opens up conversation in a way that isn’t scary.”
Names of parents and young people are withheld to protect family privacy.
“John’s humor and rapport with the kids in the room gave us all an ease and honesty... easy and non-threatening.”
“John makes this really difficult conversation easy, and dare I say, fun! He’s funny and calm...”
“We didn’t know how to talk about this with our kids. We do now. Thank you.”
What young people say after the conversation.
Names are withheld to protect the privacy of young people and their families.
“It was weird at first talking about porn with a grown up, but he was funny and it wasn’t so bad.”
“He says all the words but it didn’t seem too bad.”
“Mr. Van Arnam came to my school and said it’s okay to talk about it with my Mom and Dad.”
You don't need to know exactly what to say before you call.
That's the point. Tell me what's happening. We'll figure out where I can help.
Contact John